Memories of Mine
by Pankee
Summary: Kakuzu broods over losing Hidan to the ground, losing himself in the process.
1. Insanity

**Memories of Mine**

_**Author's Notes:**__ A Hidan/Kakuzu Fanfic. Kakuzu reflects on what happened before he lost Hidan to the ground, Only to lose himself in the progress._

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Kakuzu

"You're holding back."

Hidan said as I continued mauling our target, I looked at him with fake awe. I mean, if an S-ranked criminal—An Akatsuki Agent—was just strangling someone…wouldn't you think they were holding back?

"Wow, you're really observant."

He smiled triumphantly, pretending he didn't hear the note of sarcasm which I made clear. I just shook my head and threw the target down, it wasn't even worth waking up today just to kill this kid. Hidan looked at me, one of his annoying smirks playing on his lips.

"Hey, shithead."

I threw a stray metal pipe at his head, with hopes that it would hack it off. I wasn't going to sew him back together if it did happen. Hidan was too busy smiling he didn't notice the pole that came his way and….damn. That must've hurt. I laughed as he fell backwards and onto his ass.

"How's that feel?"

I asked as he frowned at me. He was rubbing his ass, it almost looked like he was flaunting it. I just shook my head and reached an arm out to him, I had no idea why…but I just helped him. He looked at me in awe but took my hand anyway.

"You alright, Kakuzu?"

He asked, waving his hand in front of me. I slapped it away, realizing I really didn't feel so good. I was swerving in my steps now. Wow, Hidan looked worried. Did I really look that bad? I was falling now, falling.

"Kakuzu! Wake up you shithead!"

I only remembered his arms around me. What was this feeling? This feeling that made me want to just lie there in his arms. I remember wrapping my arms around him and pulling my mask off, I remember his warm, soft lips.

Why do these memories come back to me? Why do his violet eyes and silver hair haunt my dreams? Why was I the one to live? I stared out from my window, I was under house arrest due to my recent flashbacks. Deidara warned me about it—losing a loved one—that it could be dangerous to the mind. I buried my face in my hands, still brooding over it. I decided to just let it out. I ripped some paper from my notebook which I would normally use for prices. I took my pen out and wrote.

_You promised an eternity._

_A time of you and me._

_I gave you my heart and soul_

_You always made me feel so whole._

What am I doing? I shouldn't be brooding….but rather…being happy.

Right?

I looked over him that night, Hidan had just gotten a pretty bad fever. I was chosen to watch over him since I was his partner. What kind of immortal gets a fever? A useless one. He couldn't even watch over himself and now here I am.

"Kakuzu?"

He moaned, shifting in his bed. I stood up and looked down at him, he was staring up at me with those violet eyes of his, looking as helpless as helpless can look. I sighed and decided to be nice to him, just this once.

"What is it, Hidan?"

He smiled for some strange reason. He reached his arms out, wrapping them around my neck. He wanted something all right. I had a good idea what it was he wanted. I crawled on top of him, smiling through my mask.

"I wanna talk."

He mumbled and pulled my mask off. I bent lower down on him and brushed my lips against his. I could feel his hands under my cloak. There really wasn't going to be much of talking tonight.

I pulled on the top of his pants as he allowed me to enter his mouth. I pulled his pants down as his hands caressed my face. I could feel his hips moving to help himself out of his pants. His hands slid from my face and opened my cloak and slid it off my shoulders. His tongue was entangled with mine now, I felt his warm saliva cover my tongue. Now I was sliding my own pants off as he pulled my shirt over my head. By this time we had already let go of each other's lips.

"I love you, Kakuzu."

"I love you too."

We were both naked. My hand slid down his thigh and lifted his leg. He closed his eyes, he knew what I was going to do next. I moved my hips near his ass. I was already hard. I entered him and got a gratifying moan from him. He was so tight and awfully wet for a sick person. I grabbed his length, pulling at it roughly. He was screaming. Oh yes, he was. I moved roughly inside his ass, grunting with every thrust. He was moaning my name, it only made me want him more. I rubbed on his length with both of my hands, I could feel his warm liquids splattering all over my hands and arms. I let go of his length, he was panting and his cheeks were flushed. I wasn't done. I was far from done.

All of it was hurting me now, more than ever before. Stupid kid, burying him alive. I just can't stand another night without Hidan. I would've just let myself fall to the ground now. I lay down and hugged my knees, I'll just kill anyone who walks in on me. There was a small picture on the desk. I reached for it.

_Take care, you damn bastard!_

_Hidan_

He had given that to me last Christmas. It was just a wonder since no one knew of how we felt about each other. I called him a religious fucktard and he called me a greedy asshole. And yet, we loved each other. I looked at the bathroom door, maybe the door to my escape, too.

I walked towards it, and twisted the knob.

Hidan

Stupid blonde bitch, leaving me to rot in the goddamned ground without any goddamned food. What the hell, though I'm going to be seeing that greedy asshole again. Deidara's running pretty quickly.

"Kakuzu! Kakuzu!"

He was screaming. I just brushed my hair back, wondering why that stupid bitch was so excited. He twisted the knob, he wasn't in there,

"Heh, maybe he's making love to the mola."

I joked until Deidara stopped at his bathroom, he looked shocked. I walked over there to find…pools of blood. Damned pools of blood. I shook his collar and tried to wake him up.

"Hey, uh…don't joke around!"

I screamed, I could feel the hot tears streaming down my face.

He can't be gone.

Not yet.


	2. Broken

_**Memories of Mine**_

_**Chapter two: Broken**_

—Hidan—

There I was, standing above my old partner's corpse. Deidara was staring at us and slowly backed away, I was aware that he knew exactly how I felt. I wrapped my arms around Kakuzu's corpse. Stupid, stupid greedy bastard. He could have waited for me.

I heard Deidara shut the door, and then his footsteps echoing out into the corridor…

No, Kakuzu wasn't dead.

He can't…. be dead.

I buried my face in his cold chest. He had my heart, both literally and figuratively.

I felt a twitch, I knew he wasn't dead! I planted my lips against his cold ones, I wanted to show, I wanted him to know I was back. I let go of the soft kiss and whispered into his ear.

"I love you, Kakuzu."

I though I heard his low voice in my ear, reassuring me that he was there for me.

He really, wasn't gone!

—Deidara—

I left them alone, Hidan seemed depressed enough.

But, if he really was depressed, then why was he whispering word of happiness, stuff like he was happy?

I didn't do that when Sasori died. But then, times were different, he never loved me. I stepped into the meeting room, everyone was there.

Tobi looked at me with eager eyes, saying

"Is Hidan-san okay?"

I shrugged, I wasn't in the mood to start an argument with Tobi right now. I just sat down near him, I knew what Sasori would say if he were still with us. He would've called him a "Broken Puppet"

I don't think he would mean that to be a bad thing, either.

Konan looked at me, playing with her paper roses. She tossed me a note saying:

"Vendetta."

Great, she wanted an artist's battle. Clay against paper.

I was about to start molding until Hidan came to the table, Kakuzu's corpse in his arms. Everyone stared at the silver-haired Jashinist. Pein raised his eyebrow as Konan stopped folding her paper.

Zetsu, as blunt as ever asked him.

"Hidan, why the hell do you have a dead body?"

"He's not dead, he said so."

"Um…Okay."

His white side answered last, making sure not to anger the immortal. Hidan simply tightened his grip around his late partner. Hidan rubbed his cheek against Kakuzu's as if he could really feel his warmth.

I looked at Tobi, even though his expression was unreadable due to the mask he wore. Tobi placed his hands on the table, tapping to 'Fighting Dreamers'.

Pein stood up, looking down at Hidan. He ran his fingers through his orange hair

"Hidan, let go of the dead body. Not alive, DEAD."

He said, a slight tone of emotion in his voice. Hidan looked up at him and stood up, I had a bad feeling about this.

Hidan replied with a scream, oh God, he was becoming delusional.

"Kakuzu's not dead! He's alive! I heard him myself!"

With that he stormed off into his room, holding Kakuzu the whole way back.

—Hidan—

No one will understand what Kakuzu and I have, They just haven't heard Kakuzu speak. I shook Kakuzu to wake him up. I leaned on his chest and ran my hand over his face.

I pulled off my cloak, and pulled him into bed with me. I wrapped my arms around him, and kissed his chest. I could feel his arms coming around me too.

I felt his warm breath on my neck, clouding my thoughts.

He's the only reason I haven't given up my immortality yet. He promised to stay with me through all the ups and downs, although it was a sick joke to pretend to kill himself like that.

_Flashback_

Kakuzu and I were sitting outside the hideout. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom. He took my hand in his and I looked at him. He whispered in my ear

"Hidan, I'll be with you, every step of the way."

He then pulled me to face him, pressing his lips against mine. When I pulled away from him, I realized there was something in my hand, a pin, It's been on the inside of my cloak ever since.

"Hidan, My love."

Was engraved on it.


End file.
